with Lorelle and Brent VanFossen

Alabama Computer Jokes

Two of our dearest friends come to Israel to explore the country for the first time, and us for the last time for a while, just before we left Israel a few months ago. It was great having them there and made the process of leaving the country much easier. They were also with us when the confirmation came through that our next stop was Alabama. The husband was born and raised in Alabama, so he promised us that the minute we got back, he would flood our email inbox with jokes and lessons about life in Alabama. And he continues to keep his promise. Al, you are just too much!

Here is the latest that did crack us up. It’s designed for the true “con-oh-sir” of Southern Humor and Computers.


It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2005, ALABAMA EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the STATE of ALABAMA.

If you have one of these, you may need help understanding the commands. The ALABAMA EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 2005, with a background picture of the band, “Alabama” superimposed over a bottle of Chilton County moonshine.

Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled “Outhouse”
My Computer is called “This Dern Contraption”
Dial Up Networking is called “Good Ol’ Boys”
Control Panel is known as “The Dashboard”
Hard Drive is referred to as “4-Wheel Drive”
Floppies are “Them little ol’ plastic thangs”
Instead of an error message, “Duct Tape” pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN ALABAMA EDITION:

Cancel…………stopdat
Reset…………..try’er agin
Yes……………yep
No…………….nope
Find……………hunt fer it
Go to………….over yonder
Back……………back yonder
Help…………..hep me out here
Stop……………kwitit (WHOA!)
Start………….crank’er up
Settings……….settins
Programs……… stuff at duz stuff
Documents……. .stuff ah done did

Also note that the ALABAMA EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2005:

Tiperiter……………a word processing program
Colerin’ Book……………..a graphics program
Cyferin’ Mersheen………….calculator
Outhouse Paper…………….notepad
Inner-net…………………Microsoft explorer 5.0
Pitchers…………………..a graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused. If you have received a copy of the ALABAMA EDITION, you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

Billy Joe Gates

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