with Lorelle and Brent VanFossen

Bad English Signs

Living many years around the world, outside of correct English spellings, Brent and I have a huge collection of funny stories about the bad English signs we’ve found. One of our favorites is the many names for “speed bump” we’ve found including road humps, speed humps, hump in the road, bump in the road, elevated road crossing, and traffic reduction construct.

Alex takes a trip on a snow mobile in the snowy mountains of ChinaOne of our dear friends, Alex, is living and working in China. He is a Russian who speaks several languages fluently, including English. Brent used to work with him in Israel, and now he is working for the same Israeli company, on loan in China monitoring an Israeli project there.

He loves all things fowl and wicked when it comes to any language, especially English. He’s taught us more about how disgusting our language is than we ever wanted to know. So when he got to China and discovered horrid spellings in English on many signs, he started photographing them and sending them to us as jokes. He’s amassed quite a collection and I thought I’d share some of our favorites with you.

Be warned, when translating, whatever word they find that most closely resembles the translation, they will use, often clueless as to how Americans feel or think about the word. So some of these might be inappropriate for adults. If you don’t know the word, ask your child. ;-)

Bad English Sign from China - Please do not spit too loud. Thank you.Please do not spit too loud. Thank you.

 

Bad English Sign from China - Bainiarihaohe Seductive PhotoBainiarihaohe Seductive Photo – Name of photo shop.

 

Bad English Sign from China - Assembling Dragon CaveAssembling Dragon Cave – tourist spot.

 

Bad English Sign from China - Amalgamated Pest ControlAmalgamated Pest Control

 

Bad English Sign from China - No Occupation While StabilizingNo Occupation While Stabilizing – Keep Off If Moving

 

Bad English Sign from China - Notice of Ice Slideway - whole signNotice of Ice Slideway

This sign was at the Chinese ski resort Alex visited. It is called the “Notice of Ice Slideway”. It’s your basic warning and legal cautions sign.

 

Bad English Sign from China - Notice of Ice Slideway - closeup of the English

Ice slideway is an entertainment of update and excitability. For your pleasure and safety, please read the following notice carefully.

1. After buying the ticket, go to ice slideway platform through the stairs on both sides in order with the guidance of workmen; for your safety, please take the basket willingly to avoid slip;
2. Larking during going upstairs and on the platform is forbidden;
3. Please obey arrangement of workmen and stand in a line when waiting on the platform; sit down and ski down, during this period, make sure that your legs are put together and arms are put inwards to avoid the collision with ice edge;
4. Please leave the ice slideway immediately after reaching the bottom to avoid the collission with following tourists;
5. Keep the environmental sanitation; throw litter into specified garbage box.

 

Bad English Sign from China - Intraday Deposit of Asmall PackageIntraday Deposit of Asmall Package – claim check.

 

Bad English Sign from China - ShaoLin Template Cable Car SignThe summary about cableevay of the Song moutairs ShaoLin

It lies the South west of ShaoLin femple cllish is the famous buddism interest. The all set of machine is produeed from Aastria Dobeimia company. It is the single line action by itself and it contain four person. It about 2860m long (It is the longgest the same kind of cablecvay in our country) and, it is 453m high, single way sent passenger 660p/h, the fastset speed, is 4m/x. The ahde time is 12 minutes. It is the only awy to SanHuangZhai view, Duning your yourney, you can ouatch and engoy the mountain peak in two side. It is chain of mountam. It is all kinds of riew.

 

Bad English Sign from China - Fried Beef Noodles, Fried Chick Rice, Fried NoodlesFried Beef Noodles, Fried Chick Rice, Fried Noodles

 

Bad English Sign from China - If you would like to join us, rubbish will never be homeless.If you would like to join us, rubbish will never be homeless.

 

Bad English Sign from China - Cash Recycling CenterCash Recycling Center

 

Bad English Sign from China - Trg to make the senic spot more beautifulTrg to make the senic spot more beautiful

 

Bad English Sign from China - RctrievableRctrievable – possibly means recyclable?

 

Bad English Sign from China - on a food package - Fuck the Materialon a food package – “Fuck the Material” is one of the ingredients. Above that “Restore Sugar” is another odd ingredient.

 

Bad English Sign from China - Prohibit ExcretmentProhibit Excretment – No Shit.

 

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