Lorelle: Am I right?
Brent: Darling, you’re always right. It’s easier that way.
Frequent dialog between Brent and Lorelle VanFossen
My father used to whine about how horrible all the guys at work would tease for having a daughter. “Argh! Put another woman driver on the road!” He often swears at the lousy drivers on the highway, and what do you know, when we drive by, the odds are extremely high that the idiot who just cut us off is a woman. Yet, the reality of statistics reports that women are the safer and saner of the driving sexes by a HUGE margin. Then why is it that the idiot driver always turns out to be a woman when my dad’s in the car?
It’s because his need to be right about women drivers is strong and he attracts the evidence to support his belief. No matter what the position you take, the universe magically responses to the position within you by providing evidence of your claim. When you hold onto a mental image, a position within your belief structure, or a strong opinion or view, the universe offers constant proof that your belief is the “right” one.
Think about this for a moment. It’s a little frightening. Think about all the beliefs you hold on to, some of which are really silly when you break them down to their smallest parts. Children learn nonsense like “Step on a crack, break your mother’s back.” They rearrange their footsteps to make sure they don’t step on a crack. Their belief is so strong it directs their steps down the sidewalk. They maintain this belief until they have stepped on enough cracks by accident, and nothing has happened to their mother. The evidence doesn’t support the belief, so they let go of the belief and move on to the next one. Over time, some beliefs are “proven” right and these stick in a person’s psyche.
Prejudice is formed through the power of belief. Learn that blue people are lazy and stupid, and all the blue people you see will be acting lazy and stupid. Doesn’t matter if the majority of blue people are at school or work, learning and playing a vital role within our society, the ones you see are the ones not in school or working and they represent “your majority” and prove yourself right. “Look at all those blue people. Aren’t they lazy!”
These are strong beliefs. The smallest ones are also proven right over and over again. In Israel, wild cats roam all over by the thousands, fed by the caring, ignored or victimized by the evil at heart. Yet, there are few reports of cats attacking people. Still, a good number of my friends honestly believe cats attack for no reason and are terrified of them. When they came to visit, that would be the moment our blind cat, Dahni, would be in a playful mood and want to play “slap”, proving once again that cats attack people.
I used to tell myself that I was clumsy. It didn’t help that I had family members who enjoyed repeating this claim over and over again, reminding me of my years of classical ballet training “and she still trips over her own feet”. So I would stumble a lot, bounce off walls, crack my knees, and bump and bang my way through the house, later discovering little bruises I couldn’t remember happening. It wasn’t a big thought, just an ever-present thought lurking in the background. As I became more aware of the power of my thoughts upon my life and surroundings, I decided to change this self-negative thinking. Now, when I get “clumsy”, I know I am stressed or tired. I’ve grown into an intelligent and graceful woman, but the old tapes came into play when the energy level dropped. Once again, I would become the klutzy girl I had always been, making myself feel even worse. It’s a regression. See how easily these beliefs return when you drop your defense. If I let them continue, they would prove that I am a klutz, and they would be right. It’s a powerful thing and it takes serious work to overcome a strong “right” belief.
This need to be proven right is so strong, I call it the “Religion of Right” or the “Right Religion”. Religion, whatever you may or may not believe in it, works because people keep finding evidence to support whichever belief they have. People create rituals to reinforce their different beliefs, keeping them fresh in their mind. The Religion of Right is no different. Your belief is constantly refreshed in your mind as the universe supplies evidence to support your belief. Like any good religion, if its working for you, you keep believing. The “Religion of Right” and your need to be “right” has some very powerful rituals to remind you of its influence in your life.
Making “Being Right” Work for You
Remember all those “think your way to success” and “believe it and you will become it” mind control games we played in the 1970s through to the early 1990s? They are actually still going on, they just keep changing the program names. These programs taught us ways to change our thinking to motivate ourselves towards success. “Think It – Become It” was the theme. Live as a thin person does and you will lose weight. Think like a rich person and you will become rich. To be loved, become a loving person. These all convinced us that we could control our life through our thoughts. Did it work?
In many ways it did work. People came to understand the power of the mind to convince ourselves we could be something we weren’t. People realized that the mind can play tricks on itself. By slowly changing the perception a little at a time, the brain will shift in a new direction. All you have to do is make the change necessary to instigate the shift. Based on the premise that the universe provides evidence to support your “right” position, you can make this work for you.
Like all good religions, the Religion of Right will work for you, if you know how to work with it. If you understand the basic premise.
If you believe you are right, you are, and the universe will provide evidence to support your belief.
Think about that. If you believe you are right about something, you are. That’s a powerful thought – and belief. It says that I know I am right, and I am right. The only way this will work is if you believe that there is no “right” or “wrong” in the typical definitions of the words. There is no “wrong” here. When you believe you are right about something, you are. Nothing more. You can’t believe you are right and be wrong at the same time. You can be right about a position you hold until you have received enough information to change that position – at which time you will be right again about “that” position. There is no wrong here.
Let’s look at the second part of the premise. If you are right, the universe will provide evidence to support, encourage, and honor your belief. That’s right. The universe will reward your belief. Ah, but only if you believe you are right. That’s the catch. If you don’t believe you are right about a position or belief, the universe will give you plenty of evidence that you are right not to believe. See how this works? The need to be “right” is so powerful, many people have been led astray by the power of the righteousness of their beliefs. You just have to learn how to tap into that power to make changes in your life.
Worshiping at the Altar of Right: How Does It Work?
If you are still with me and accept that if you believe you are right, you are, and the universe will provide evidence to support your belief, we are ready to create the ritual in the Religion of Right that will empower you to change your belief system. We’re not trying to change your life. That will happen automatically. What we want to do is change your belief system so you can tap into your personal brain power and make that shift to create a more powerful life as a side effect.
The Religion of Right is based upon belief. You have to believe you are right. You have to believe it will work. You have to ask the great cosmic energy forces that swirl around us for what you want. You have to be specific in your request. And then you must let it go. Here is an example.
When we were living temporarily in North Carolina, I told my husband that I finally needed a car of my own. We’d been sharing the truck for ages and it was getting tiresome. He asked me what kind I wanted. I used the power of my beliefs with the Religion of Right. Remember, you have to believe it will work, ask, be specific, and let it go.
“I want a Toyota Corolla or Corona, used. It must be white or light colored with light colored fabric seats. I want four doors and a trunk. I need air conditioning, four good tires, an engine in good condition, and preferably a stick shift as I want low gas mileage.” How much do you want to spend? “I would prefer to spend no more than $300, but I’m sure it will cost at least $1000. I will not shop for it. I will not go looking. You will go find it for me and tell me when you’ve made your choice. I hate car shopping. I would rather have dental surgery and pull out all my teeth than to go car shopping. You’re the man, and I rarely ask you to do ‘manly’ things, so now is the time. Buy me a car.”
That was it. And I waited. Nothing happened. Two weeks went by. Nothing. No evidence of searching, no newspapers checked, no visit to the car auction house right next door to the campground. Nothing. I waited and then gently reminded him that I needed a car. And I waited. A month went by. Again, I reminded him. “Stop nagging me!” Time passed. My supervisor finally told me that the new schedule was due to start in a week, so if I was going to get a car in order to teach these new hours, something had better happen soon. When I got home a few hours later, the phone was ringing.
“I found you a car.” Talk to me, husband. “It’s used, a Toyota Corolla, stick shift, four doors, a trunk, and it’s white. Brand new tires, too. Excellent condition, but needs a little engine work.” How much? “Are you sitting down? Only $300.” A friend of his at work had bought a new van and was going to sell his old car to a young relative who backed out at the last minute. To junk it would cost him $300, so he offered it to Brent, saying, “Isn’t it about time Lorelle had her own car?” We picked it up two days later. Took it in for repairs and the total bill plus the three hundred for the car came to just under one thousand dollars. It pays to be very specific.
I could have just said, “I want a car” and left it at that. I could have said I wanted a red car and I would have gotten a used red car with no tires and a broken engine. When you make your request of the cosmic forces in the universe, you have to be very specific or you will get what you ask for, and it won’t be what you really want.
I understand the power of my need to be right, so I have learned how to make it work for me. Other than the basic furniture in the house we are currently renting in Israel, I have “asked the universe” for the rest of the furnishings based upon my strong belief in the power of my ability to be “right”. I needed a stool for standing on in the kitchen and another as a little seat by the door for putting on shoes. With only one flea market and few used items shops in Israel, people put their unwanted items, clothing, books, and furniture out on the sidewalk for any one who wants it. The next day I found a stool on the corner from my house. Within a couple months I had brought home three more stools. If your belief is strong enough, the universe can often over provide. You also have to learn how to ask it to stop.
Not all things I ask the universe for are good things. When negative thoughts rise up, I attract negative things to me, proving over and over again my current state of low self-worth. Once you understand and can appreciate the strength you have within yourself to be right, you learn this is a powerful tool and must be used carefully.
The Process of Getting It Right
The process of “worshiping at the Temple of Right” (excuse me, couldn’t help myself!) is a four step process. You must believe that each step will work, just as you must believe the process will work in its entirety.
- Write It Down
- Whatever your goal, desire, or belief, whatever your “want”, write it down on a piece of paper. I don’t care if you type it on your computer, PDA, or cell phone, or scratch it on a napkin, write it down.
- Be Specific
- This is the most important step. You have to be very specific. I’ve found that the universe only hears nouns and adjectives. For over twenty years, growing up with Jewish, Israeli, and Palestinian friends, I always said that I would NEVER go to Israel. I didn’t want to be involved in any of it. Over and over I repeated it. Guess where I’ve been living for the past four years. Israel. When the job offer came to allow us to move here, I remembered saying “I will NEVER go to Israel” and understood again that the word “never” isn’t in the vocabulary of the universe. It only knows nouns and adjectives. Red, purple, big, little, desk, chair, tall, dark, handsome. People often ask me to help them find true love since I used this method to find my true love. I tell them they have to be more specific. What is love? Describe it. Be exact, be specific, and be clear about your desires. I had 28 items on my specific list and I got all 28!
- Say It Out Loud
- The universe can read, but it does a much better job with the spoken word. Through prayer or just talking, tell the universe what you want. You don’t have to make a show of it. A simple “A small wooden stool” will do, and a “please” won’t hurt, but they usually don’t listen to that either. Pleading doesn’t get very far, or more people who plead would get their heart’s desire. Just say it out loud and let it be done.
- Let It Go
- While being specific is critical to the success of being right, letting it go makes all the difference in whether or not you succeed. Imagine your “wish” is a kite on a string. The wind carries it up, higher and higher, but it can only go as far as the string permits. You have to cut the string so it will reach the “heavens” and circle up among the higher powers so they can get the message. This means you have to let the thought go and forget about it. Nagging, wishing all the time, thinking about it – all these things hang onto the thought. It must be free to gather its strength to come back to you.
The rest is just patience. Remember, I spent over 20 years whining about never going to Israel before I arrived here. It took months for the car to appear. But the stools, I found the first stool for the kitchen the next day. I had let it go immediately.
Like any religion, give this a try and see if it works for you. So far, it has worked for everyone I know who honestly gave it a go. It has made them feel more powerful and confident about their thoughts, beliefs, and their life. If it works or doesn’t work for you, let me know.